I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
