he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
be right there i have to get my cape
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
