dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
