There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize