Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize