We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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