he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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