If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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