I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
