He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
