just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
