...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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