i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
