I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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