...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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