y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my sisters under your porch take her home
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
