I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
