Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So many bounce houses so little time
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize