He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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