I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
