Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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