I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
