And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
time to smoke my breakfast
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
