Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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