This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
