weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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