Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
