I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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