She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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