I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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