his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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