I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Randomize
