I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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