I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."