Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.