Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker