just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
