We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
