where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
