I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
