What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
