But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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