My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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