Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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