It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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