I just pynch a tree in the face
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
