Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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