I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
