I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
