Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
