If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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