dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I want is dick and wine.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
