I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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