Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
