Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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