I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
only if we run a train.
done.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
