1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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