Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
