Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
