If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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