Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
