this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
