So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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